Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Years Resolutions That Are More Like New Years Plans

"So this is the New Year.... and I don't feel any different"
-The New Year by Death Cab For Cutie

My life is not measured in years, as are other peoples. My life is instead measured in my moves. Sometimes it comes with new goals and aspirations, and other times it comes with completely new names, personalities, and styles. This has been the tradition all my life. It is no different this time.

I make New Years resolutions like normal people do. And I attempt to follow them through until January. Of course, like normal people, my New Years resolutions fail. But my new life resolutions rarely ever fall through.

This year however, a move and a new year happened to come together. So when I make my New Years Resolutions, I make my New Life resolutions as well. Which makes them extra strong.

1.) Write.
This was originally "be a better writer" but that's a pretty high expectation for me to set for myself. It's like saying "In 2010, I will grow wings, become pink, and fly like a pig". It's setting myself up for failure. Because I'm not sure if I will ever think of myself as a good writer. I would like to become a better blogger, but I know that only comes with practice. I get discouraged with my blog a lot, because it's not anything memorable, but I can't expect to be an expert when I have no experience in blogging. So practice is what I will do.

As for my fiction writing, I am happy to announce that I have gotten inspiration to write my third attempt at a novel. I feel strong about this story for once. I have realized that I never wrote enough with my own voice. And for the first time, I will be writing with my own voice, instead of trying to write somebody else's. While it may not be a work of art, it will be better than my last attempts to write novels, and it will be fun to write.

2.) Continue to be happy with myself.
I learned in Buffalo how to be happy with myself through adversity. I learned to stick my middle finger at people who looked at me funny because I didn't dress like everyone else, and because I am really loud, and because I hate people with bad grammar and insult them with no thought. I learned to refuse to be someone anyone wanted me to be. I learned to be beautiful in large sweaters and minimal makeup. I learned how to be myself, and only myself, and be beautiful being myself. I want to keep that. I look even stranger here on a military base where there is DEFINITELY nobody like me. I could change and look like the high school girls, or the girls my age who are married to Marines. But why would I, when I am a spectacular person?

Another step to loving myself is riding myself of people who don't want me loving myself. I don't need strangers telling me I am crazy, none the less people who claim they love me.

3.) Be more studious.
I really need to learn better study habits, and learn to focus more on schoolwork. Oh yes, the thought of being studious is really nice, but when it comes to actually learning the information in books, useless things such as Facebook distract you and consume your day. But now that I have a desk and am nearly 100% worry free, I can be studious. I know the whole desk thing sounds ridiculous, but I was studying on a bed, or the floor for my first semester of college. That isn't too healthy.

4.) Take advantage of living in a foreign country.
Who gets the chance to live in a foreign country twice in their lives? Well, I do, and I'm not going to let this opportunity pass me by. I have a semester here, maybe more, and I plan to do as much as I possibly can.

5.) Be smart about my next life decision.
As I said earlier, I may only have a semester here, though it's possible I could stay for the rest of my Dad's tour, which lasts 18 more months. But in a semester, I should be ready for University. Whatever my choice is, it will be logical and well-thought out. I will not make any rash decisions because I am restless. I learned my lesson in Buffalo--don't move out on your own unprepared, and during a recession. This next life decision will come this year, and whether its stay here, move back to Buffalo, or try on a new location for size, it will be a smart one.

6.) Just relax
I have come to the conclusion that I try to control things in my life too much and end up taking more steps back than forward. I force things too much. My actual RESOLUTION, instead of goal, or plan, is to be more relaxed. I need to let life come instead of forcing information and experiences down my own throat and making myself choke and puke it all back up. Relaxed swallows will bring me desired results.


  1. Beautiful :) I too don't "believe" in New Year's Resolutions, but thinking of them as solid goals helps more, and it seems less temporary than NY Resolutions. Also, you're on a military base in Okinawa? Is it Kadena?!! Because I used to live there!! Or is it Lester? Because I know about that one too XD

    Ugh, worst base ever.
    But you would disagree, you're an Air Force brat xD
    I'm on Camp Foster, but my Middle School was on Camp Lester!

    Thanks for commenting :3