Review Wednesday; Fall Music Preview According To "All Songs Considered"

"All Songs Considered" by NPR published this online preview for all the most anticipated albums coming this fall. They put the best singles from each album here for you to preview.

Fall Music Preview HERE

These Roads Don't Move by Jay Farrar and Benjamin Gibbard from the album One Fast Move or I'm Gone

Unkown Jay Farrar hooks up with lead singer of Death Cab For Cutie and The Postal Service, Ben Gibbard, to create this soundtrack for the upcoming Jack Kerouac documentary. Their lyrics are taken from Kerouac's book "Big Sur" and they sound like what Jack Kerouac would sound like if he made music... minus the drunken slurs. This is the only song availabe from the album, and it's only available on NPR
"These roads don't move, you're the one that moves"

See The Leaves by The Flaming Lips from the album Embryonic

The Flaming Lips have been around for a LONG time, and they've always been a little late for their time. Starting in the mid-80's, they have a psychedelic sound that belongs in the 60's. However, there's always a little underground love for the psychedelics, and you have to respect The Flaming Lips for not changing a thing about them in the past 20 years--weird song titles and all. This song sounds like a psychedelic thrash session you'd hear at an X orgy.


This Blackest Purse by Why? from the album Eskimo Snow

By far my favorite song on this list, but that's probably because of the period of my life. I fell in love with it immediately. It sounds angsty, but a mature, thoughtful sort of angst, the sort I, and others in my position feel. In my opinion, this is the song of leaving one life for another, watching the new things, and being afraid. The whole "Mom am I failing or worst?" part really hit me. This is a song I can listen to over and over and feel like somebody really understands me.
"I wanna speak at an intimate decible with the precision of an infinite decimal."


Feeling The Pull by The Swell Season from the album Strict Joy

An upbeat, folky song about feeling the pull of going someplace new. It's actually a more positive, less angsty version of "This Blackest Purse"


Waterloo Sunset by Ray Davies and The Crouch End Festival Chorus from the album Kinks Choral Collection

Ray Davies gets together with a chorus group from London to create this album of some of his and his band The Kinks best songs with a heavy chorus for a background. I listened to the original, and liked it a lot better than this version. It seems as if Ray Davies' singing impediment got worst with age. But some people LOVE the Kinks, so if you're one of them, you might like this choral rendition of the classics.

Cool Yourself by Thao With The Get Down Stay Downs from the album Kill Rock Stars

This is going to be my new party song. Modern party beats with a blend of 70's J-pop and 50's doowop=Total Win!

Colussus by Lightning Bolt from the album Earthly Delights

This song sounds like an angry garage rock thrash session with a psychedelic flair. It almost sounds like it would be the soundtrack to a progressivley angry acid trip.

Dimestore Diamond by Gossip from the album Music For Men

Gossip, a trio of bra-burning females bring this song about the trailer trash queen. With every beat, you can just see her muffin top shaking with each step. They've got blues with a femme-funk, making anybody they sing about seem trashy and glamorous at the same time--just like this song.

Master Moon by On Fillmore from the album Extended Vacation

This song has got a creepy Tim Burton sound track sort of feel. I was actually inspired by it for my writing. It's definently a song that you make up a story to. To me, it felt mischevious and innocent at the same time, like a 11 year old sneaking out in the middle of the night to prove to his friends that he can go to the witches house.

My Body's A Zombie For You by Dead Man's Bones from the album Dead Man's Bones

This song sounds like Johnny Mathis got converted to satanism. It's creepy ["my body's a zombie for you!"] and somewhat Halloweeny with the kids yelling the chorus. I love it actually, it has such a strange sound that you just have to listen to it and you don't really know why.

Warm in the Shadows by Music Go Music from the album Expressions

I feel like I should be wearing lace arm warmers and doing that tantrum dance to this song. It's got that ageless 80's melodrama to its sound and lyrics.

Sherpa by Le Loup from the album Family

the band sings like the album implies-- like a family. There are multiple male voices on this track that sing together on on a song that sounds like a modern hippy tune. It's a feel good song that you don't sing along to, you just sit and appreciate it's quirkiness and your inability to understand it.


Ain't Nothing Like You (Hoochie Coo) by BlakRoc from the album BlakRoc

These two white kids from The Black Keys make soul like you aint never seen a white kid make soul before. For their newest project, they brought together some great, real hip-hop artists to create this album under the name BlacRok. "11 Artists, 11 days, 11 tracks". Some artists include Mos Def, Ludacris, and Nicole Wray. I love the old, slow blues sound with today's rap. And when you mix indie with rap, you get a beautiful concoction of some mad spits with intelligent lyrics. I'm SOOO buying this album when it comes out.

Tasty Tuesday; Oil and Vinegar Dressing According To Jenny

Tasty Tuesday

Oh salads! Let me count the ways I can make you delicious! I am a salad person, and I always have been. I've been teased many times for being a rabbit because I ate so much lettuce. And the salad is always the first thing I grab on the table. Even now, living with a meat lover, I go out of my way to make my own personal salad.

I decided to try to make my own salad dressing. I love the taste of oil and balsamic vinegar, especially on salads. But it has to be done a certain way, otherwise all you're eating is oily lettuce, which is really no good.

So I decided to premake my salad dressing instead of pouring oil and vinegar over my salad each time I made it. It's a great pay off--I finally got to taste it 4 days after making it, and all the seasoning had soaked into the liquid, and the oil and vinegar wasn't seperated as much.

[I made a pretty small portion, and the numbers are guestimates. I really just suggest putting a teaspoon more vinegar than oil and doing the seasoning by eye]




Here's What You Need
1/4 cup Olive Oil
1/4 cup Balsamic Vinegar/Roasted Garlic Vineagerette
dash of chili powder, garlic salt [not pictured], lemon pepper, and italian seasoning
1 1/2 tablespoon of parmesan cheese [to thicken]
Mason jar to put it in

Here's What You Do
pour all ingredients into the mason jar, screw the top on, and shake!

Now you have a delicious salad dressing! Put in fridge to chill.

You can do one of two things from here. You can either pour it straight on your salad, or you can do a little topping mix thing.

Topping Mix:
Here's What You Need
-Any salad toppings, except for croutons. I suggest tomatoes, olives, onions, and chicken/turkey

Here's What You Do
-Put your salad toppings in a seperate bowl and pour JUST a teaspoon of this dressing over it and mix. When you're ready to finish your salad, pour the mix on top of the salad. The dressing isn't too overpowering to add another dressing to. This is great for when you're making a salad for multiple people, that way they can all have their choice of salad dressing.

Enjoy!

F&$*ed Up Friday- MC Hammer Pajamas

These are the most F&$*ed up shorts I've ever had.


I just bought these horrible shorts at the thrift store recently. I don't really know what compelled me to buy them. Usually when I'm with someone at a thrift store, I go real fast and just pull things off the shelf. If I don't, I'll spend hours there, looking through every last thing for a treasure. This was one of those things that I didn't look at too long before I got them.

They're terribly unflattering, but terribly comfortable. And despite the fact that they're totally screwed up and ugly, and look like MC Hammer shorts, they are surprisingly useful.

I suggest to any student with a laptop to get these shorts. I always use my laptop in my chair, but when it gets hot, I have to take it off my lap and move it onto the ottoman, which means I have to lean over to use it. These shorts are long, baggy and thick enough to blunt the heat of the laptop, which is absolutely genius! Instead of getting hot under a blanket, the shorts give me enough air to be comfortable, but keep my legs from getting burnt!

So go to your local thrift store and look for shorts like these. You may not look great, but by god, you'll feel great!

Tip Thursday; How To Have a Good Day According To Jenny

Tip Thursday

I just got back from one of the best days of my life, and nothing in paticular happened. It was a day where the greatness came from inside of you. It is possible to have a good day on your own accord, you don't need to get money or ace a test. Optimism comes from the inside.

1.) Make a "Good Day" Playlist. The number one key to a good day is great music. Think of it as a sidetrack to your life. Try to imagine everything you're doing is in a movie, and the music you're listening to is a sound track. It's fun to do when you're doing boring things like waiting for an elevator or walking home. Here's my "Good Day Playlist" [all these link to the song on youtube]

STARSTRUKK-3OH!3

Tastes Like Kevin Bacon- iwrestledabearonce

What I Got- Sublime

Dying Is Fine- Ra Ra Riot

Penny On A Train Track- Ben Kweller

Hotel Song- Regina Spektor

Fidelity-Regina Spektor

Ginders-Matt and Kim

Cold Light- Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Good Ol' Fashioned Nightmare-Matt and Kim

Loose Lips- Kimya Dawson

Disco-Metro Station

California-Metro Station

I Gotta Move-Ben Kweller

You and Me And A Black Heart- Her Space Holiday

2.) Find somebody who appreciates you and will make you feel good about yourself. Mother, friend, boyfriend, it doesn't matter who it is. When you have someone validating yourself [and your real self] you feel confident.

3.) Have a good morning. My good mornings are meausured on my comfort level. If my apartment is too cold when I get out of the shower, if my coffee doesn't taste right, and if I didn't dress right for the weather, I'm not going to have a paticularly good morning. In these coming autumn days, a hot cup of coffee and a warm comfy sweater on your way to school is the best way to start off a day--even if you have to chase after the bus and stand when you get on it like I did this morning.

4.) Talk to a stranger. Lately I've been meeting a new person every day, and it has made me feel like I'm not alone in everything. I suggest trying to meet a new person every day, but sometimes you can't. Talking to a stranger will suffice. It's refreshing to get a new opinion, and often strangers are the best people to unload your problems on.

5.) Indulge in a craving. Chocolate, tomatoes, chips, hot pocket-- cravings are desired foods, and nothing makes you feel better than indulging yourself in them once in a while.

6.) DON'T WORRY. BE HAPPY. There's no room for worries in a good day. Save your worries for tomorrow. Trust me, after today, you'll be able to tackle them better. For example, I've been job hunting every day all week. For some reason, today's paper had just one page of classifieds, meaning there weren't any jobs for me on them. So for today, I didn't have to worry about a job. And now I feel like I can take on the task tomorrow.

7.) Dress your best. It's a proven fact that when you look good, you feel good. So wear an outfit you know you look good in and take time on your hair. The pay off will be wonderful.

Tasty Tuesday; Ramen According to Jenny.

For starters, it's not ramenS and it's not RAY-men. It's rah-men--America's cheapest ethnic food.

It's a proven fact that college kids survive on ramen. Well, this college kid has been running on cheaply processed noodles and small packs of seasoning years before college. And the journey has just gotten started. I have perfected my own style of creating a better ramen, but be warned, this may be for my own taste buds. This recipe is only for the adventerous.

Despite the fact that it's a 25 cent pack of noodles, there are so many ways to eat ramen. First, let's go through the varieties of your average Maruchan brand ramen noodle, with all the best flavors bolded.: -Beef, Cheddar Cheese, Chicken Roast, Chicken Cajun, Chicken Creamy, Chili-Habenero with Shrimp, Chili Lime Shrimp, Hot & Spicy Beef, Jalapeño Cheddar, Lime Shrimp, Oriental, Pork, Roast Beef, Shrimp.

These flavors are the most versatile, save for Chili Lime Shrimp, which is what I usually use for this recipe. I often prefer cup noodles to the bags, but when you're making elaborate ramen, like I will show you how, packaged ramen is the best to use.


Here's What You Need:
-Franks Red Hot
-Lemon/Lime Juice
-Garlic Salt [optional]
-Chili Pepper
-Sesame Oil/chili sesame oil
-kim chee
-Green Onion


Making your ramen not so plain is simple. What goes good in a soup? I figured out that the best food to put into a bowl of ramen that you don't have to get in Asia is green onions. It adds extra flavor to that wimpy pack they give you, and a little bit more than soft noodles to chew on. If you have access to asian food, I suggest getting Kim-Chee, which is pickled and spiced cabbage. Taste it before you put it in your ramen, but I personally love it.

Here's What You Do:
Cook the ramen according to directions. While the ramen is boiling, add either chili sesame oil or sesame oil and chili powder if you can't find that variety. When it's done, pour out half the broth. Next put in at least 3/4 of a tablespoon of Franks. Franks is pretty strong, so you don't want to overpower the other flavors, just a little bit will do. Then put in at most a teaspoon of lemon or lime juice. Put in a few sprinkles of garlic salt if you want a slight garlicy taste. Mix it all together. Cut an entire green onion into slices and sprinkle on top. Next add some kim-chee, according to your taste. I put a small pile on top. And from there, just eat. Don't mix the kim chee in, since you'll want it to retain a little bit of it's chill from the fridge, but still get heated by the broth.

F%$*ed Up Friday

Blogger's Note: I changed Friday's subject to be more general so I wouldn't be boring people. I think that I find bad fictionpress stories to be hilarious, but I don't think others get it, so I will limit my fictionpress stories to a minimum for the Friday schedule. Fridays will now bring you anything screwed up I have seen in the week. I hope you especially enjoy this week's entry as much as I do. Thank you!

----------

This is an actual ad taken out in the classifieds in the Art Voice-Buffalo's leading alternative press. Already it's funny by what this guy did, but for him to actually take out a section of the paper for it is even better.

[Under Missed Connections]

To The Girl At C.B Restauraunt

You were sitting at the table next to me. I was checking you out. You noticed. I winked. You rolled your eyes and left your table to talk to some guys at the bar. You left your purse at your table. I felt rejected, and a little hurt. On my way out, I filled your purse with a vomit cocktail consisting of 1 part chicken wings, 3 parts Budweiser and 6 parts hot yellow foamy puke. I hope you had a wonderful night!

Comments:

1.) When I first started reading it, I said "Aww, he's going to ask where she is because he fell in love with her!" Imagine what my face looked like as I continued reading.

2.) After he talked about her purse on the table, I thought he was going to continue to say "I stole your purse, please come to this address and pick it up, I love you." But what he did was even creepier.

3.) I now know that vomit cocktails only have 10 parts. At least he got the mixing right though. Like an alcoholic cocktail where the main ingredient is alcohol, the main ingredient of this gentelmen's cocktail is vomit. Respectfully.

3.) a. Like a true "Buffalonian" [can I say that?] his cocktail has chicken wings in it. Way to show your city spirit bro.

4.) I will never leave my purse anywhere. Not in fear that my wallet will get stolen however. I can handle a stolen wallet. I can't handle carrying an expensive purse full of vomit home.

Tip Thursday; Everyday Hair According To Jenny

Just because you only have an hour to get ready for school, doesn't mean you can't have great hair! I think that easy, yet good looking hair is the greatest tool a woman can have in her arsenal. You just need to know a few tricks. I'm no cosmeotologist or fashionista, but I love the way my hair looks when I do my everyday style.

My hair is shoulder length and thin, so this hairstyle and tutorial may only work for that kind of hair, but you can take some tips from this tutorial and apply it to your own unique hair!

Start off with a part on the side. You have to have sideswept bangs for this hair to work.


Portion off the bangs and the hair in the back. I turn the hair in the back into something of a crown, so gather enough hair to create a crown. It should be the hair located at the top of your head, going about 1/4 of the space to the front. Pull it into a pony tail so that portion doesn't get lost during the blow drying.

Next, blow dry the sides. I suggest tipping your head upside down so the hot hair gets in real good and running your fingers through your hair, touseling it and rubbing the roots as you dry. This gives it a little more volume. Blow dry the bangs and run the blow dryer over the pony tail that is your crown.


Next, if you have thin hair, you're going to be doing a lot of teasing. In case you don't know, this is how you tease; take a small portion of hair about 3 inches wide and relativley thin, and run a comb through it repeatedly going backwards. Don't take the comb out of your hair, just run the comb up and down close to the roots furiously until you think you've created enough volume. Yes, teasing does damage your hair and has a tendency to tangle the ends, but it's worth it.


I tease in two layers on both sides. First do the bottom layer of hair, then the top. After I tease, I do a little bit of hairspray, blow dry it on low, and tease it a little bit more. Make sure you do it on the roots otherwise you're just wasting your time.

After you've teased the sides, tease the bangs slightly. Hairspray, blow dry, and
tease this too. Next, do the crown in two layers, but be careful to make sure it all goes back. There should be no part in your crown.


Next comes the bangs which is my unique touch. I love having long bangs, but I haven't had a hair cut in a long time and long bangs really get on my nerves. So I add a sweet touch by clipping them back. However, I still make sure people I know I got 'em!

Here's what you do. Take all the hair that makes up your bangs.

Twist it around your finger, pin it with a bobby pin, and push the hair up gently to give it a "bump". Hairspray for permanance.

And Voila! You have everday hair Jenny style!

Review Wednesday; L'Oreal Lash Stilleto Mascara

Review Wednesday

Jenny's Note: This week for Review Wednesday, I present guest blogger Kate Thoreson and her review on L'Oreal Lash Stilleto Mascara. Remember, tomorrow is Tip-Thursday. If you have a question that needs advice, or don't know how to do something, or just want to see how I do something, leave me a comment on my facebook, or post a comment here!

Okay, the moment you've all been waiting for is here: Is L'Oreal Lash Stiletto Mascara worth your time and money? Well, I tried it on my sister's recommendation today, and I found out that it's actually pretty good. I had my senior pictures today, and my old mascara (which was L'Oreal Voluminous) is good for everyday outings, but it clumps and melts really easily and it was a hot day.

I didn't want to risk losing my make-up in the sun, so I asked my sister if she had something better. She gave me the Lash Stiletto, and I tried it.

The positive things about this mascara are pretty basic; it has a long and straight brush so that you can put it on as meticulously as possible, it does not clump or melt at all (I was out in the sun for two and a half hours and it looked exactly the same as it did before except maybe it looked more natural), and it does actually make your eyelashes longer. I have really long eyelashes and I noticed a change. However, it does not make your eyelashes bushier; just darker and longer. I consider this to be a positive thing for me and most other people, because frankly, mascara that makes your eyelashes look bushier looks really faky. Nobody has eyelashes that are as thick as their eyelids except Omar Rodriguez-Lopez, and he's a man.

The negative points about Lash Stiletto are mostly in its removal. If you make a mistake putting it on, it is not easy to fix it. The mascara stays on your eyelashes like a mean dog's jaws stay on your cousin's hand, but it goes both ways; removing it is a bitch. I got a little bit of it on my eyelid, I had to scrub it with a q-tip and really expensive eye make-up remover from the department store, and there was still a light smear where the mascara was. Thankfully, it went away shortly afterward. So, if you have just started using mascara, don't use Lash Stiletto, and if you're more used to a curved brush or you just prefer a curved brush, don't use Lash Stiletto. The other main problem only concerns people who use mascara to beef up their eyelashes in case they have the equivalent of A cup bras in eyelash thickness; this mascara doesn't do anything to help you there. It's mainly for people who want darker and longer eyelashes, so try 2000 Calorie Mascara from Max Factor instead if you want thick eyelashes. Finally, of course, do not use this mascara on your lower eyelashes like you might with less lengthening mascaras; you can touch them up with it, but don't actually brush it on them. It just ages your eyes to have really long and dark lower eyelashes. However, I'm sure most people who are experienced with mascara probably know that.

In conclusion, this is a really good mascara if you want longer and darker eyelashes, but if you're clumsier with a brush or you have really thin and sparse eyelashes, don't use this one.

Rating: 3.75/5

Tasty Tuesday; Deep Fried Pickles

Born in the south, crunchy and salty sour, deep fried pickles are a treat for your taste buds. It's a known fact that everything tastes better fried. Fried ice cream, fried twinkies, fried green tomatoes... But none of these can compete with the unique, oily flavor of a deep fried pickle.

I decided to do deep fried pickles for Tasty Tuesday this week because they're my favorite food. I used to have to go to an expensive restaurant in Michigan to get them, but now that I have my own kitchen, I decided to give it a whirl. However, with my schedule and inadequacy in hot oil, Don actually cooked them.

He says that he thought that spears weren't the right choice because it made it harder to bread. He suggests pickle chips. However, I am the deep fried pickle connosieur, and I say that you can't stop eating if you have a plate full of pickle chips, and that spears are best for filling you up and dipping.

My tip is that you don't eat deep fried pickles immediately after you make them or eat them. Pickles, like tomatoes, hold a lot of heat in their juices. Don't be as eager as I have on many accounts and burn your mouth!!

Note: While the pickles I used were homemade, they were not the homemade pickles that broke in the box that my grandma sent.

Here's What You'll Need:
whole pickles, pickle spears, or pickle chips [dills work better than bread and butter. I've never had a bread and butter deep fried pickle]

Egg Wash:
1 egg
I cup milk

Cornmeal Deep Fried Pickle Coating Recipe
2 cups plain Cornmeal
1/2 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon dried Oregano
1 teaspoon dried Parsley flakes
1 teaspoon Salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground Black Pepper
Mix ingredients together and set aside.

OR

Flour Deep Fried Pickle Coating Recipe
3 cups Flour - this can be any type of flour including white, whole wheat or rice flour.
1 teaspoon Garlic salt or powder
1 teaspoon table seasoning
1/2 teaspoon Salt1 teaspoon freshly ground Black Pepper

Here's What You Do:
after you've gotten the amount of pickles you want, shake off excess juices and blot them off with a paper towel. First, dip in the egg and milk mix. Next, roll in the dry coating. Don found that you shouldn't roll the pickle in the coating, you just pile some on it, and pull it out. Set them on a plate, and once all your pickles are battered, freeze them for 30 minutes. DO IT! I was in a rush and didn't want to, but was told that if you didn't, the batter would just fall off. Don't skip this step, even if it sounds useless.

Heat the oil to 375 degrees, drop the pickles in one by one until the float and take them out. Serve with ranch dressing, it's the best that way.

F%$*ed Up Fiction Press Friday Take 1

[Bloggers Note: As you can tell, I have started my blogging regime. Yesterday [Thursday] I was sick, so I couldn't bring to you the premiere of Tip-Top Thursday, but next week I will. However, I will need some help with it, so if you have a question, are in need of advice, or just want to see how Jenny does things, either contact me on facebook or leave a comment right here on my blog! As with this blog I am not sure how people will accept it, so I have to ask if you enjoyed this entry or you want me to change Friday's subject to a different one. Again, contact me through Facebook, or leave a comment here. With your cooperation, this could be a better blog, so please help me out! thank you!]

F%$*ed Up Fiction Press Friday

Here are a couple, REAL fictionpress story summaries. I cannot provide you with a link, because I don't want to cause any trouble. I am not advertising these stories because they're great and I want you to read them. I am advertising them because they suck so hard, they make me laugh.

First of all, let me explain to you a little bit about fictionpress. It's a place where people write stories and post it. There is a list of stories, and in that list, there is the title, the author, and the summary, and a link to each. From there, the summary is supposed to entice you so you click and read their story. Sort of like browsing a bookshelf, but a lot more dangerous because you don't know if you are going to click on a bad story. Unless of course, the summaries are like these below.

There is an unspoken etiquette for summaries. First of all, you need to write them in a way a book synopsis would be written. That means that you don't detail the character or the plot too much, because that gives away too much. And you DON'T use improper grammar or spelling. That is a dead giveaway that you're a horrible writer and nobody will read your story. And you definitely don't use jargon such as "MxM/FxF SLASH!" which translates to Male/Male and Female/Female gay sex. This is acceptable at FanFiction.com to warn you that your favorite male characters have just been forced into a gay sexual relationship by somebody, but in an original work, it's a sure sign of lack of creativity.

These summaries break all these rules, and I frankly find it to be hilarious.

[Title Unkown]
Once upon a time there was a mummy who fell in love with a mortal girl they knew they could never be together we'll because he's dead and she wasnt one day her father found out and tried to kill the mummy but he never died.the father wanted revenge.

Ok wow, I've seen vampire, werewolf, and demon romances around fictionpress before, but I have NEVER seen a mummy romance! Read this as it sounds, without any periods or commas. It sounds great. I love how the only "correct" grammar the author used was for "we'll" which is the wrong word in this context

[Title Unknown]
There were 2 men one was named punk and the other was named sir.sir would yell at punk to throw more wood in his large fire when punk runs out sir gets mad and finds a boy made out of wood.sir runs over there and makes sure he was made of wood Woody says

The author just told the whole story in one horrible summary. So why even read? Well, unless you want to know what "Woody" is about to say. By the way, what a horribly creative name!

[Title Unknown]
Four vampires. Two females, one that likes to swear, another that is a bit scatterbrained. Add two male vampires, and one very small dorm room. Between classes, humans crushing on them, and problems back home what else could go wrong? Well, with them, alot

One that likes to swear? What a beautiful description! Now I know that one of your characters is a hard ass because she likes to swear! And uh-oh! A small dorm room and humans crushing on them? What is a vampire in college to do?? I guess, get into a lot of trouble according to this summary.

Hogwarts School of Martial Arts for Boys:
I'm not plagiarizing, the nutcase master of the school doesn't have any good marketing strategies- Colletta disguises herself to go to the martial arts school stated above, THE PROBLEM; she's a girl-throw in a hot jerk and chaos ensues...

Oh, this has all the delicious qualities of a fiction written by a dreamy 14 year old emo girl. One, you have Hogwarts [YES PLAGIARISM!] turned into a martial arts school. Next, you have a girl surrounded by men, and I would bet you that they're ALL attracted to her. Except for this "hot jerk" who pretends he doesn't like her but is secretly in love with her. But it's not all so perfect. Apparently the master of the school has no marketing strategies! OH NO! and chaos will soon ensue.

Tainted Love:
Warnings: Yaoi, M/M Slash, Cursing, Death, Violence, Abuse, Rape, etc. Four teenagers going through a life of hell. Abusive fathers. Parents that abandon their young children. Parents that don't care about their children at all. Loss of relatives

Can anything worst happen to these kids? On top of death, violence, abuse, and rape, there's cursing! Like the word "fuck" is just as bad as getting beat. So you have these two males who have horrible lives and are gay for each other. I don't think you can find a story that tries as hard as this does. Oh, and do you think we get the point that this is about a homosexual "couple"? The author has to remind you three times in three different terms just to get it through to you that they're gay. Thank you, I understand, abusive rainbows just shine out of your summary.

Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos

Review Wednesday

Has God ever created a more perfect chip than the Spciy Sweet Chili Dorito chip? I do believe he hasn't. Sure, the Late-Night Flavors are really authentic [the taco flavored chip actually tastes like a taco] and then you have the classics [Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch]. Even the Explosions [pour extra flavor onto your chip!] and the combination ones [ranch and pizza!] are good. But none of them can compare to the most exotic flavor; spicy and sweet chili.

Sweet and spicy sounds a rather odd combination, but if you've ever tasted south-asian food [chinese, thai, philipino] then you'll know that it's actually rather good. This Dorito flavor takes your average sweet-and-spicy taste and gives it an addicting kick. At first, there's a tang that fills your mouth as you slip the chip in. Then when you crunch down, a subtle heat is released, followed by a sweet after taste. Sounds like fun right?

Good For:
-Munchies [of course]
-Sadness [it makes you passionate!]
-Scaring people away with your breath

Bad For:
-Getting all the time [they're really rare to find actually. Try Wal-Mart]
-Losing weight
-Being jewish [it has pork enzymes in it!]

Breakfast Fried Rice According To Jenny

Tasty Tuesday

Fried rice; rice, onions, peas and carrots all fried together in a wok with soy sauce. Simple, yet delicious. Fried rice has always been a popular breakfast choice in my parent's house. And I am here to tell you that nobody can make fried rice the way my mother can. No other place that serves fried rice can create the hunger-creating aroma of my mom's fried rice. No chinese fast food fried rice can even contend with the taste of homemade fried rice.

Fried rice is not one of my specialities. I've tried many times, but there seems to be a certain trick to doing it right that only people from Hawaii can seem to do. This morning, while scrounging through my very bare refigerator, I saw that I had leftover rice and decided to try my hand at it once again. It came out good, but not as good as my mothers. But then again, nobody can make it as good as hers. I stress this because I want to let you know that even if you make this recipe and it turns out good, if you want authentic fried rice, go to her.

Here's What You'll Need: [recipe made on a single serving]
2 peices of bacon
about a cup of leftover rice. [It must be leftover rice. Don't ask me why]
an egg
2 green onions or a slice of white onion [dice it]
1 tablespoon soy sauce or oyster sauce [oyster sauce is the "secret sauce" according to my neice. Fried rice does taste better with it, but soy sauce will do just fine[


Here's What You Do:
Fry the bacon first. Leave the grease in the pan and set the bacon aside. Pour the cold, leftover rice into the frying pan on medium heat and let it fry until some grains start to get a little brown on them. Add the soy sauce, and fry until the rice looks like it's soaked up most of the soy sauce. [It should look more dry than when you first put in the soy sauce] Next, add an egg. Just crack the egg, pour it over and stir the rice until the egg fries. This is not the conventional way of doing it, but it's really easy. I'm all about doing things in one frying pan. After it looks like the egg is all fried up, pour it into a bowl. Next, cut the bacon up into tiny peices and sprinkle it over. Now you have fried rice Jenny style!