Friday, September 11, 2009

F%$*ed Up Friday

Blogger's Note: I changed Friday's subject to be more general so I wouldn't be boring people. I think that I find bad fictionpress stories to be hilarious, but I don't think others get it, so I will limit my fictionpress stories to a minimum for the Friday schedule. Fridays will now bring you anything screwed up I have seen in the week. I hope you especially enjoy this week's entry as much as I do. Thank you!
This is an actual ad taken out in the classifieds in the Art Voice-Buffalo's leading alternative press. Already it's funny by what this guy did, but for him to actually take out a section of the paper for it is even better.

[Under Missed Connections]
To The Girl At C.B Restauraunt
You were sitting at the table next to me. I was checking you out. You noticed. I winked. You rolled your eyes and left your table to talk to some guys at the bar. You left your purse at your table. I felt rejected, and a little hurt. On my way out, I filled your purse with a vomit cocktail consisting of 1 part chicken wings, 3 parts Budweiser and 6 parts hot yellow foamy puke. I hope you had a wonderful night!

1.) When I first started reading it, I said "Aww, he's going to ask where she is because he fell in love with her!" Imagine what my face looked like as I continued reading.

2.) After he talked about her purse on the table, I thought he was going to continue to say "I stole your purse, please come to this address and pick it up, I love you." But what he did was even creepier.

3.) I now know that vomit cocktails only have 10 parts. At least he got the mixing right though. Like an alcoholic cocktail where the main ingredient is alcohol, the main ingredient of this gentelmen's cocktail is vomit. Respectfully.
3.) a. Like a true "Buffalonian" [can I say that?] his cocktail has chicken wings in it. Way to show your city spirit bro.

4.) I will never leave my purse anywhere. Not in fear that my wallet will get stolen however. I can handle a stolen wallet. I can't handle carrying an expensive purse full of vomit home.

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